Is This Thing On? (2025)
Starring: Will Arnett, Bradley Cooper, Laura Dern, Andra Day
Rating: 4/5
Summary: When Alex and Tess decide to separate, the two struggle with navigating how to start over. Alex picks up stand-up as a new hobby, while Tess reflects on her own identity as both a mother and wife.
My Thoughts: If there was anything to take away from this film, it's the fact that adults (especially grown men) need hobbies. As I'm writing this, I'm looking at my planner, and there's the phrase "Life doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful" stamped onto the page. This is sort of the thesis of this movie. We're so often chasing so many BIG things in our lives (i.e., productivity, goals, milestones, etc), promotion, or that we often forget to appreciate the good things that we already have. In Alex's case, it's his wife and loving who she is as a person. In Tess's case, it's her own interests and the life she has outside of her relationship and her children. For both of them, it's learning to meet each other where they're at - instead of forcing them to be somewhere else emotionally.
When I first watched this movie, I was worried that the "washed-up,
white man" trope would bore me. However, the film saves itself by
bouncing between both Tess and Alex. They both struggle...a lot. They also struggle in different ways. Although Alex is naturally a good stand-up comedian, he still feels lost. He can't even talk about his new hobby without feeling shame for it. Tess wants to return to volleyball, but worries that it won't actually make her happy. She has a conversation with one of her friends about not seeking out hobbies simply because you're good at them that I find very poignant. I, too, often wonder if I do things because I am good at them, rather than if they actually make me happy. I would have liked to see more of Tess figuring that out in the way that we see Alex do. There are many scenes of Alex doing stand-up. We, as viewers, are invested in the world of comedy, just as Alex is. The other comedians are great side characters. The bars he visits feel authentic and alive in a way that Alex's home life does not, which is why he finds himself drawn to comedy. The challenge he finds himself in is to figure out how to connect those dots and find a healthy way to find space for both comedy and his life at home with his family.
What is also great about this movie is that Alex is not a bad father or person. He's not neglectful of his children. He's neglected his wife, but he's not abusive or rude to Tess. He's just a depressed little dude. This film could have made Alex a terrible person who does terrible things, but redeems himself through his comedy and being a better husband. This film could have made Tess an annoying, bitter woman who resents his husband for not being more attentive. These are the expectations I initially had, but this is a much better film. It allows both Alex and Tess the space to be messy, but ultimately grow in ways that do not cause irreparable harm to one another. They're hurt and angry, but they still love each other, and their relationship is far from emotionally abusive or toxic. They're just two people who fell out of sync.
Personally, I am also learning to find more hobbies and to be more mindful of all the time I spend focusing on productivity and milestones, but it is damn hard. So much of what I see online, and even when I talk to my friends, is about productivity. I know I am almost 30, so that is much of it based on societal norms of where people are supposed to be in their lives at a certain age. However, I am learning to listen to my intuition and let that lead me, even when it comes to minor decisions, (especially when it comes to minor decisions) like starting this blog again, spending a few hours playing computer games from my childhood, or having sleepovers with friends where we craft and talk about nothing. I just want to have fun again, and this movie reminded me that I need to start saying "Fuck it" and having more fun.
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