A Reintroduction

Time flies when you're having fun, or whatever it is that I have been doing since my last post on this webpage. However, one of my New Year's resolutions was to restart my blog. Unfortunately for you, many of my old posts have been archived, so you are not able to read the unhinged ramblings from the teenager who started this blog. Fortunately for me, I had such a fun time reading my unhinged ramblings to the point that I was inspired to grab my keyboard, step up to the plate, type away on my keyboard, and hit "Publish."

When I was a teenager, I was quite literally using this blog as an outlet to talk about television, movies, and books. It started off as a book blog, but once I entered high school and reading became required, I pivoted to movies. Bloggers in 2011 always had a sign-off, and mine was, "Happy Reading!" When movies and television became my special interest, that sign-off shifted to "Happy Movie Watching" or even "Signing Off" or "See you Next Time." Something about seeing how happy I was to send my words out into the digital void really touched me. I didn't care if one person saw it or if 50 people read what I wrote. I was just happy to write and talk about the things that I loved. This blog is what made me want to become a writer. I don't get paid to write. Hell, sometimes I wonder if I actually even enjoy it if there's no one reading what I have to say, but I've been getting in the mood to write. I've been getting into such a mood about writing that I get a headache if I don't at least attempt to write something down. 

And so, I write, even though something about doing this makes me feel annoying. 

Perhaps I want to be different by not posting on Substack, as this was once a safe space for me.

Maybe I actually want to stick to something consistently for once in my life, like I did when I was 13 and bored.

And so, I write, even if I am a little bit of all of those things...or even if there are mistakes...or if no one reads this at all.

 

When I revisited my older blog posts, I often wrote to the void. On one hand, I hoped no one read these posts, but there was definitely some part of me that enjoyed talking to strangers online because I was so lonely IRL. Seriously, here are some screen-grabs from my posts. (Please note: These are all from 2011-13-ish, so it is very dated)

From a very "serious" review of This is 40 from a literal teenager:

 

 From a book haul:

From a post asking readers whether I should finish The Great Gatsby before seeing the movie:

 

As I was first reading them, I really could tell that a teenager wrote them. Upon further inspection, I could also see how it wasn't much different from what I (and others) are posting on every other app. From Substack to Instagram to Facebook to YouTube and now, Perfectly Imperfect, we are all just shouting into the void. In the last few years, I pulled back because I was definitely afraid of being perceived in a certain light. More importantly, I was afraid of being disliked.

 

But, this is my space, and I will do with it as I damn well please. I read somewhere that it takes courage to be disliked. I don't need to revel in my ability to be disliked by others, but I am also learning to admit that this fear says more about me disliking certain things about myself than it does about how I feel about the negative things people think about me. 

 

So, here I am. I'm scared, but I'm going to keep at it. Is there anything you're scared of doing because you're scared of what others will think? If you could achieve any skill or commit to any hobby without fear of failing, what would it be?

 

Besides writing, I think I would try to learn how to play an instrument - piano or drums, specifically. Let me know in the comments. 

 

Happy Reading.