Some of you may remember this series of writing from my old Substack. If you're new here, welcome to mess that is: Euphoria Sunday Power Rankings. When Succession Sunday was a thing, Hunter Harris over at Hung Up penned a series of Succession Power Rankings. These are my weekly recaps of Euphoria with the added bonus of being pick apart all of the nonsense these young people are getting up to.
Overall, this season is off to a great start. I do, however, mean this in the most pejorative way. The girls are acting up a storm. Rue, Sydney Sweeney, Maddy, and even some of our newer characters are all scene stealers in a way that leaves me wanting more after the episode is over. I think the time jump works well for the show. I fear this is mostly because this should have been the setting the entire time. I will stand by the fact that I think Euphoria should have always been set in college.
I think Rue (and a few other characters) would have dropped out by now, but it would have been interesting to see how things would have unfolded if the show started them in their sophomore year in college. Sex work and dealing drugs makes sense for young adults in college. There's also a severe lack of TV about college students that aren't just about "fitting in" and "relationship drama." I would have loved to see Euphoria's version at a college campus. Half the characters barely behave like they're in high school anyways.
I'm still giving Sam Levinson a side eye because he makes such grandiose decisions with this storytelling. At this point in the series, Euphoria has become Max Payne. The show is now a neo-noir and Rue is our jaded, anti-hero. It's also interesting that she was actually a detective for a bit in Season One, in true neo-noir fashion.We're rooting for her, moral ambiguity and all, and the crime, existentialism, and vibrant cinematography say it all. (Just look at the scene of Cassie driving to meet Maddy for that meeting. The score! C'mon now!)
I don't think this is a necessarily a bad thing, but some of the dialogue and story beats do take it to a point that makes it hard to watch. But don't fear, I will be back each week to recap who's up and who's down bad. Without further adieu, here are the power rankings for Euphoria Season 3, Episode 2: America My Dream.
Big Eddy / Laurie / Alamo (Not included in this week's ranking)
I am intrigued to see where these characters go, which is why I wanted to talk about them. I don't want to include them in the ranking simply because they're literal criminals. I cannot in good conscious rank them against the likes of Cassie or Rue because while they make bad decisions, these people are legitimately dangerous and there's just no consideration for that. I don't think Sam Levinson is going to try to humanize them. HOPEFULLY. It wouldn't matter if he did, but I really hope this isn't the case. Obviously, all of these people have been doing what they're doing for a long time. Laura is positioned as the show's biggest antagonist because her and her crew are racist. However, this doesn't mean that Alamo is off the hook because he literally trafficks women. I want to hope that Kadeem Hardison's pick as Big Eddy is intentional. He worked with Zendaya as her father on KC Undercover and is sort-of her handler at the strip club. He's not the kindest, but he doesn't treat her badly. At the minimum, he wants things to work out for her. However, he's just not a good person, so he literally cannot be considered in this ranking.
So, here is where the official ranking begins!
Sydney Sweeney is playing a character. That's saying enough. Some people like to think that she's just playing herself, but this episode really shows that she knows Cassie well. Whether this is because she can relate to her insecurity and attention seeking behavior, I don't know. However, I do know that the way she portrays Cassie in this season has escalated and Cassie is no longer in someone else's shadow. Don't get me wrong, she's still a little ditzy and has no idea what anyone else's intentions are, but she is surely, a lot more confident and is out to mission to get whatever it is that she wants.
Her conversation at Maddy's really unravels after a few drinks. She wants Maddy's help being a star. There was no need to fake an apology, but it's definitely what helped clue Maddy in the fact that Cassie is still not a big player in the game. She's still using the same moves she did in high school, trying to win people over being all doe-eyed and clueless. She's still manipulative, but she's also desperate. I think had she just come out and told Maddy that she needed help, she legitimately would have because its mutually beneficial for her to do so. Of course, Cassie doesn't know that and in true Cassie fashion, she becomes Maddy's pawn, yet again.
Also, calling your Only Fans an "erotica" when are you dressed up like am adult baby to sell sexual content to only 3k followers with 200 likes is crazy. Cassie stans, I see you. I fear you, but she's riding the bottom simply because she's embarrassing. Do better.
Faye
Rue
Rue is always put in difficult situations. I mean, during last week's episode, she smuggled drugs in her body across the border. Here, she's a "assistant" at a strip club. I use the term "assistant" lightly, but she manages the dancers at the club and cleaning toilets. She connects with a stripper named Angel, who is looking for her friend, Tish. Rue eventually tells Angel that Trish is dead, which causes her to spiral. Alamo tells her to take Angel to rehab and in return she will get a promotion. It was at this point that I knew something bad was going to happen because you don't just get promoted for dropping someone off to rehab.
Angel even knew something was up.
When Rue starts working at the club, she believes that she's "free," but there's no way that her debt is just being waived. She's got a new keeper, but I don't think she realizes it. She will when she decides that she wants to walk away, but I don't know whether this is something she doesn't realize, as much as it's something she chooses to ignore. Just like that suitcase last season. When she walks away from the "rehab," she knows something is wrong, but she chooses to move on and hit up Jules. It's not a "point of no return" for her because she technically didn't do the wrong thing. In technical terms, she just brought a girl to rehab. In actuality, Angel is as good as dead and that blood is on Rue's hands. She's also planning to rob Big Eddy that is something I truly do not think she is capable of getting away with.
I didn't know how they were going to write him onto the show with his illness, but, boy, was I glad to see Cal Jacobs again. I still think about his monologue from last season and how it's actually one of the best performances the show. While so depressing, it was such a captivating, because it is actually the most honest that anyone's ever been to other people at that point in the show.
And here he is again spitting truths and honesty to his son, Nate. Cassie is chasing pleasure instead of focusing on what she has at home. This isn't any different from any rich, housewife in a setting like this. But, Cal, you are a little gay, my man. That's okay.
Angel's character is an unexpected one. Although we will probably never see her again, she does drop some ominous lines that really make you question how far Sam Levinson is going to go this season. "This is a weird place. You know, people go missing here more than anyplace in America. It's like there's a big magnet under the soil...Attracting evil."
Now, it doesn't get much scarier than that, except her unnecessarily using the N-word. (Like c'mon Sam, what's going on in that head of yours). And that's coming from a girl that just wants to have a good time and misses her friend. Although I'd love to learn more about Angel, I fear, in true neo-noir fashion, that is all she wrote and she's just going to disappear without a trace. Whether this is going to be a catalyst for Rue is one thing I will be waiting to see.
Juana (Forgive me, I could not find a photo of her)
Girl, get away from these people! I mean, a check is a check, but our girl is so disillusioned to it all. Nate threatening to lowkey "kill her" when she's asking what food to keep is legitimately crazy, but I do love Juana. I want to see her win because the woman is not being paid enough, I know it.
I finished last season with complicated feelings about Jules. However, between the special episodes that dropped during the pandemic and Hunter Schafer's career trajectory after the end of last season, I have really dropped any and all hard feelings about Jules. She does feel like a new person. She's confident. She's more self-aware about her relationship with Rue. I don't quite know how I feel about her being a sugar baby and what that means for her. Who is this man? What is their dynamic? She's got a great apartment and a great thing going on for herself, but at what cost? That also doesn't mean that she's at the point that she can let Rue go completely, but, hell, neither can I. The girl is charismatic as hell.
Rue assuming she was going to leave, but having Jules run a bath and say, "You're not gonna keep me company" is actually the best way to end the episode. Who's in control here? Is it Jules? Is it Rue? Are they going to work it out and just be together? She definitely has something going on and is quite content keeping it to herself, which I'm not mad at. Good job, Jules.
I always love a Maddy-cented episode. She's such a dynamic character and she walked into that meeting with Cassie with a fur coat, a fake phone call, and a dream. Some people have speculated that the fur coat she's wearing in that scene is the same one that Nate bought her in Season 1, but, of course, Cassie would be too self-centered to know. Her characters interest legitimizing sex work is a worthy cause, especially since she's just trying to help her mom out. I don't think she sees the girls that she's working with as pawns (albeit Cassie), but there's something about her character that understands the hustle. She sees their drive, wherever that's coming from, and she knows how to get them there they need to be. She knows what a mutually beneficial relationship looks like.
And she knows that she has bills to pay. The no. 1 line this episode is: "all about that money." Every character is all about "getting this money" and we hear it literally nonstop. Honestly, it gets to a point, but I do get why. It's the drive for most of these characters, especially Maddy, who's relationships are mostly transactional. Rue, Jules, and Lexi are probably the only people that she doesn't have this relationship with and that's because they are younger than her.
I am interested to see what she has up her sleeve with Cassie, so for that, she's up top. I want to see her have her cake and eat it, too!
And that's it this week! I don't know how many slurs I can take before I write a formal complaint against this man, but Sam, please, I beg of you. Having characters speak the way that they do has no bearing on their characterization. It doesn't make sense nor does it make good writing.
Happy TV watching!
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